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Tuesday, 11 February 2014

20140211-222945.jpg




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Posted by Well Reads at 14:30 0 comments

GirlFriend

What is a GirlFriend?


Addition of Problems
Subtraction of MOney
Division of friends
Multiplication of Heartache




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GirlFriend
Posted by Well Reads at 05:59 0 comments

My little brother is a real pain.

Fred: My little brother is a real pain.
Harry: Things could be worse.
Fred: How?
Harry: He could be a twin.




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My little brother is a real pain.
Posted by Well Reads at 05:58 0 comments

Proud little girl

a little boy and girl were playing one day when the little boy opens his pants and says,bet you dont have one of these!The little girl lifts her skirt,looks down,begins to cry then runs home to her mother.The next day,the little girl approaches the boy,lifts her skirt and with a big grin states:My mommy told me with one of these i can get all of those i want!




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Proud little girl
Posted by Well Reads at 05:55 0 comments

A quote on marriage

Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs.




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A quote on marriage
Posted by Well Reads at 05:54 0 comments

A quote on marriage

Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.




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A quote on marriage
Posted by Well Reads at 05:53 0 comments

A quote on marriage

Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.




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A quote on marriage
Posted by Well Reads at 05:50 0 comments

Nudy who

there was a lady




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Nudy who
Posted by Well Reads at 05:49 0 comments

Flowers

A husband buys his wife flowers for for the first time in their married life, and she is so excited she grabs him by the hand, pulls him up the stairs, strips lies on the bed with her legs wide open, and says darling this is for the flowers. and he replies dont be silly you must have a vase somewhere!




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Flowers
Posted by Well Reads at 05:49 0 comments

A quote on marriage

May you never leave your marriage alive.




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A quote on marriage
Posted by Well Reads at 05:48 0 comments

Both Speak

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.


In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.


In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.


Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis and Christine




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Both Speak
Posted by Well Reads at 05:48 0 comments

A quote on marriage

Marriage is a rest period between romances.




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A quote on marriage
Posted by Well Reads at 05:47 0 comments

A quote on marriage

The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.




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A quote on marriage
Posted by Well Reads at 05:47 0 comments

Pack for Fishing Trip

A man called his wife from work one Friday afternoon and told
her to pack his bags for a fishing trip. He told her that he and
some guys from work were going fishing for the weekend. “Pack
some clothes, get out my fishing poles and tackle box, and don’t
forget my blue silk pajamas,” he explained to her. The wife
agreed and when he got home he picked up his stuff and said
goodbye.


Sunday night the man returned home and his wife asked, “How was
your fishing trip?” The man responded, “It was great but you
forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas!” “No I didn’t,” she
replied, “I put them in your tackle box!”




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Pack for Fishing Trip
Posted by Well Reads at 05:47 0 comments

What is SWF?

What does SWM stand for in a personal column advertisement?


Sneaking While Married




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What is SWF?
Posted by Well Reads at 05:46 0 comments

Octopus

Girl: Do you know what family the octopus belongs to?
Boy: No one in our street.




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Octopus
Posted by Well Reads at 05:45 0 comments

A quote on marriage

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.




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A quote on marriage
Posted by Well Reads at 05:44 0 comments

A quote on marriage

Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno.




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A quote on marriage
Posted by Well Reads at 05:43 0 comments

Viagra Falls

Have you heard where many senior citizens are opting to spend their second or even third honeymoons?


Viagra Falls.


Submitted by Admin
Edited by Calamjo




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Viagra Falls
Posted by Well Reads at 05:39 0 comments

Honey

A man is recently separated from his wife, and gets drunk. It’s the dead of winter and he staggers to their house and starts pounding on the door.


After about fifteen minutes, she finally opens a window and asks what he wants.


“Honey! I’m half froze, can’t I stay here tonight?”


“Yes, of course. I thought you wanted to come in!”




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Honey
Posted by Well Reads at 05:36 0 comments

Widow

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?


A. A widow


Submitted by Calamjo
Editede by Curtis




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Widow
Posted by Well Reads at 05:32 0 comments

Still Celebrating!

The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar.


“Elliot,” she said, pointing “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?”


The husband looked over and nodded.


“Well,” the woman continued, “he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!”


The husband returned to his meal. “Nonsense,” he said, “even that’s not worth so much celebrating!”




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Still Celebrating!
Posted by Well Reads at 05:30 0 comments

Why did santa claus...

Sunday, 9 February 2014


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Why did santa claus go to jail?
he got caught laying barbie under the
christmas tree!



Why did santa claus...
Posted by Well Reads at 08:37 0 comments

Dolly Parton's Marriages


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If Dolly Parton married
Jerry Smothers, and divorced him for
Mr. Lucky, and divorced him for
Martin Short, and divorced him for
former NFL kicker Ray Guy, she would be
Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy.



Dolly Parton's Marriages
Posted by Well Reads at 08:36 0 comments

Roseanne the drug dealer


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Did ya hear Roseanne was arrested for dealing drugs???


They lifted her dress and found 50 pounds of crack.



Roseanne the drug dealer
Posted by Well Reads at 08:36 0 comments

Mark McGwire on Simpsons


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What character would Mark McGwire play on the Simpsons?


Homer!



Mark McGwire on Simpsons
Posted by Well Reads at 08:36 0 comments

Obi's Son


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If Obi Wan Had a Son, of what name would he bear it?


Obi Tu



Obi's Son
Posted by Well Reads at 08:36 0 comments

Toto


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Dear Dorathy,


Hate OZ, took the shoes, find your own way home.


-TOTO



Toto
Posted by Well Reads at 08:36 0 comments

Helen Keller


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How did eln keller burn her face?


she was bobbing for French fries



Helen Keller
Posted by Well Reads at 08:35 0 comments

Mike 'n' a hot dog


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Q: What do Michael Jackson and a hotdog have in common?


A: White buns and a weiner!!!



Mike 'n' a hot dog
Posted by Well Reads at 08:35 0 comments

Light bulbs


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How many Taoists does it take to change a light bulb?


You cannot change a light bulb. By its nature it will go out again



Light bulbs
Posted by Well Reads at 08:34 0 comments

Who's saved?


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Michael Jackson and Dennis Rodman where on sinking ship. Who was saved.


The music world and the NBA.



Who's saved?
Posted by Well Reads at 08:33 0 comments

Bush


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Why does Sadamm Husseins wife have no pubic hair?


Because when he is in bed he doesnt want to see Bush.



Bush
Posted by Well Reads at 08:33 0 comments

Vending machine


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Q:What do monica lewinsky and a vending machine
have in common


A:they both say insert bill here



Vending machine
Posted by Well Reads at 08:33 0 comments

Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart


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Q. What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?


A. They both have boys pants half off.



Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart
Posted by Well Reads at 08:32 0 comments

Michael Jackson


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What do Micheal Jackson and Caviar have in common?


They both come on little crackers.



Michael Jackson
Posted by Well Reads at 08:31 0 comments

Dolly Parton


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How did Dolly Parton get two black eyes?


She went jogging without a bra on.



Dolly Parton
Posted by Well Reads at 08:30 0 comments

Michael Jackson joke


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What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?


Get out of my sun!



Michael Jackson joke
Posted by Well Reads at 08:29 0 comments

Michael Jackson and Burger King


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What do Michael Jackson and Burger King have in common?


They both stick their meat between 12 year old buns!



Michael Jackson and Burger King
Posted by Well Reads at 08:28 0 comments

Kennedy, Bono and???


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Investigating the two skiing deaths that occurred so closely to each other, authorities found this note:StoP tHE LogGInG oR WE WilL coNTinUE To KiLL OnE CelEBriTy EaCH WeEK!!!



Kennedy, Bono and???
Posted by Well Reads at 08:27 0 comments

Pilsbury Doughboy


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What do you see when the Pilsbury Doughboy bends over?


Doughnuts!



Pilsbury Doughboy
Posted by Well Reads at 08:26 0 comments

Dyslexic Satan Worshiper


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Did you ever hear about the dyslexic Satan worshiper?


He sold his soul to Santa.



Dyslexic Satan Worshiper
Posted by Well Reads at 08:25 0 comments

Micheal Jackson


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What are the three things that micheal jackson and a carrier bag have in common?
1. they are both made of plastic


2.they are both white


and 3. they are both dangerous when left with children.



Micheal Jackson
Posted by Well Reads at 08:25 0 comments

God


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A little boy went up to his father and asked,
Dad is god a boy or a girl?


Both son both


Then the little boy asked dad is god black or white?


Both son both.


Ten minutes later the boy came down stairs and asked


Dad is Micheal Jackson God?



God
Posted by Well Reads at 07:39 0 comments

stupid


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yo mama soooo poor she went to the dollar tree and put a $0.99,5 pack of gum on lay-a-way.



stupid
Posted by Well Reads at 07:39 0 comments

Mercedes SLK vs. Madonna


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What is the difference between Mercedes SLK coupe and Madonna?


They both drop their tops frequently but Mercedes does it more elegantly!



Mercedes SLK vs. Madonna
Posted by Well Reads at 07:38 0 comments

Priest and Christmas


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What does a priest and a christmas tree have in common?Their balls are for decoration



Priest and Christmas
Posted by Well Reads at 07:38 0 comments

3 Blonde Jokes


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Do you want to hear 3 blond jokes?


Then listen to Hanson.



3 Blonde Jokes
Posted by Well Reads at 07:38 0 comments

boyz 2 men


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why did Micheal Jackson call boys 2 men?


because he thought it was a delivery service



boyz 2 men
Posted by Well Reads at 07:37 0 comments

Sonny Bono


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What did the tree say when sonny bono hit it?


I GOT YOU BABE!!!!!!



Sonny Bono
Posted by Well Reads at 07:36 0 comments

Celebrity Death Jokes


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Did you hear what Queen Elizabeth gave Fergie for her birthday?
A plane ticket to Paris and a mercedes


Did you hear what Dodi Al Fayed said to the chauffeur before thier
untimely death?
Hey. Wanna come for a ride with me and Di? (die)



Celebrity Death Jokes
Posted by Well Reads at 07:35 0 comments

Jackson vs. Jockey


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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a jockey?


The jockey has a licence to ride 3 year olds.



Jackson vs. Jockey
Posted by Well Reads at 07:34 0 comments

Tonya Skating Again


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Tonya Harding donned her ice skates and competed again this week after five years. Asked why she is returning to competition after such a long layoff, Tonya said she just felt like taking another whack at it.



Tonya Skating Again
Posted by Well Reads at 07:33 0 comments

Rikki Lake


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Did you hear that they found K. D. Lang dead?


Yeah, they found her face down in Rikki Lake.



Rikki Lake
Posted by Well Reads at 07:31 0 comments

Santa Riddle


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Why is santa claus always so happy? He knows where all of the bad girls live!



Santa Riddle
Posted by Well Reads at 07:28 0 comments

Snoop Dog and Scooby Doo


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Q. What would happen to Snoop Dog, if he married Scooby Doo?


A. He would become Snoop Dog Doo.



Snoop Dog and Scooby Doo
Posted by Well Reads at 07:27 0 comments

Obi Wan's Sons


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If Obi Wan Had a Son, of what name would he bear it?


Obi Tu


If Obi Wan Had another Son, of what name would he bear it?


Obie Trice



Obi Wan's Sons
Posted by Well Reads at 07:26 0 comments

Der-ty night before Christmas


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Der next night vas ChristmasDer night is vas schtillDer stockings vas hungBy der chimney to fill.Der shildren vas snuggledAll up in der bedAnd mama in nightgownAnd I up ahead…Vas searchink around In der dark for der toysVe krept around kvietNot to make any noise.Und mudder vas carryingDer toys in her gownShowink her personFrom up her vaist down.Und ven she came nearDer crib of our boyOur youngest und sveetestOur pride und our choy…His eyes vide open As he peeked from his cot…Und seen everythink Dot his mudder has got!He didn’t even noticeDer toys in her lap…He chust asked,”For whom ist dot little fur cap?”Und mudder said “hush”Und she laughed mit delight…I tink I give datTo your father tonight!



Der-ty night before Christmas
Posted by Well Reads at 07:25 0 comments

Lone Ranger's Garbage


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Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage???


To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump.



Lone Ranger's Garbage
Posted by Well Reads at 07:19 0 comments

Popeye


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What does Popeye do when his favorite tool gets rusty?


He sticks it in Olive Oil.



Popeye
Posted by Well Reads at 07:18 0 comments

Why does Jeopordy use so much toilet paper


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The TV game show Jeopordy uses so much toilet paper because doo de doo doo
do de do do de do de doop do do do do doo.doo-doo.



Why does Jeopordy use so much toilet paper
Posted by Well Reads at 07:18 0 comments

Winnie the Pooh


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How do you piss off Winnie the Pooh?


Stick your finger in his honey!



Winnie the Pooh
Posted by Well Reads at 07:17 0 comments

Star Trek vs. Toilet Paper


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What does Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper have in Common?


They both go aroung Uranus (your anus) looking for Cling-ons (Klingons).



Star Trek vs. Toilet Paper
Posted by Well Reads at 07:17 0 comments

Smurfs Make Love


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Do you know how ‘Smurfs’ make love?


They smuck!



Smurfs Make Love
Posted by Well Reads at 07:17 0 comments

Seven Dwarfs


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The seven dwarfs were in a hot tub and started feeling sleepy.


So he got the hell out!



Seven Dwarfs
Posted by Well Reads at 07:17 0 comments

Kermit and Ms. Piggy


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Q: Why did Kermit the Frog break up with Ms. Piggy?


A: He found out it was morally wrong to eat pork.



Kermit and Ms. Piggy
Posted by Well Reads at 07:15 0 comments

hot


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is it hot in here or am i sweatin!



hot
Posted by Well Reads at 07:15 0 comments

yo mama


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yo mama was so stupid when she came in the house smelling bad,
she goes i better take a bath before the fire alarme goes off!!



yo mama
Posted by Well Reads at 07:13 0 comments

Stranded


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I wish we wernt stranded on this iceburg steven whats for dinner
we can have ratsoup ratdogs or roastrat whats for desert icetea
and snow balls.
Wait i think i can see something get the telascope yes its a
ship were saved yes whats it called the titanic.



Stranded
Posted by Well Reads at 07:12 0 comments

Tigger


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Why did Tigger get his head stuck in the toilet?


He was looking for Pooh.



Tigger
Posted by Well Reads at 07:12 0 comments

Teens Over 18


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Recently I was watching a Ricki Lake show and like all talk
shows it shows ads for upcoming shows. The ad for this was
asking for teens to call in if they had a deep dark secret they
were keeping from their parents and wanted to reveal it. But at
the bottom of the screen it states that, you must be over 18 to
call. Know many teens over 18?



Teens Over 18
Posted by Well Reads at 07:12 0 comments

Evil Overlord Handbook Part Two


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11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is
destined to overthrow me — I’ll do it myself.


12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum — a small
hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.


13. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to
prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker
enemies alive to show they pose no threat.


14. I will not waste time making my enemy’s death look like an accident -
I’m not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn’t believe it
anyway.


15. I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word “mercy”; I
simply choose not show them any.


16. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws
in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before
implementation.


17. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of
ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the
cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying
celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.


18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members
of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or
adhere to any other dress codes.


19. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any
other form of last request.


20. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find
that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate
when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into
operation.



Evil Overlord Handbook Part Two
Posted by Well Reads at 07:11 0 comments

Bewajah dete rahey Log


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Be wajah dety rahy l0g M0bbarak Naye saAl ke,,,,; * ,,+ +,, ,,+ *;;* ,,+ +,, ,,+

Aik hindsa hi t0 bdla hai taqdeEr t0 nahi…

   



Bewajah dete rahey Log
Posted by Well Reads at 01:57 0 comments

Mere Dil Se


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Mery Dil se khel to rahy hooo.


Par zara Dehaaan se.


Tota howa hai.

Kahin Lag na jaye… :)



Mere Dil Se
Posted by Well Reads at 01:56 0 comments

Mere Pyar ki woh inteha


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Mere Pyaar ki Wo Inteha Pochte Hain,


Dil Mai Hai kitni jagah Pochte Hain.


Chahte Hain Hum Unko khud Se Ziyada,


Is Chahat ki Bi Wo Waja Pochte Hain.



Mere Pyar ki woh inteha
Posted by Well Reads at 01:55 0 comments

Uski Justuju

Saturday, 8 February 2014


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*… Uski Justuju, Uska Intezar Aur Akela pan…..!!!


*… Thak kar Muskura Deti Hun, Jab Roya Nahi  Jata,



Uski Justuju
Posted by Well Reads at 14:24 0 comments

Mere Dil Se


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Mery Dil se khel to rahy hooo.


Par zara Dehaaan se.


Tota howa hai.

Kahin Lag na jaye… :)



Mere Dil Se
Posted by Well Reads at 14:19 0 comments

Kisi ko kuch dena hai to


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“kisi ko kuch dena hy to usy acha Waqt Aur Dua do,


Q k ap her cheez wapis ly sakty ho magar kisi ko diya hwa acha waqt or dua wapis nai le sakte.



Kisi ko kuch dena hai to
Posted by Well Reads at 14:16 0 comments

Nahin Rehta Koi Shaks


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Nah¡ Rehta ko¡ Shaks Adho0ra k¡s¡ Cheez k Pechy,,


Waqat Guzar h¡ Jata hY, Kuch Paa Kr B, Kuch Kho Kr B..



Nahin Rehta Koi Shaks
Posted by Well Reads at 14:14 0 comments

Usay to Torna Ata Tha


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Usay To Torna Ata Tha usny Tor dia..


Woh janta hi dil ki Ehm iat Kia Ha. .



Usay to Torna Ata Tha
Posted by Well Reads at 14:11 0 comments

Dard


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درد

جدائی

تنہائی

تاریکی

خوف

خفا نیندیں

اب یہ میرا سرمایہ ہیں

تم خود سوچو !

یہ کم ہیں کیا؟

اک پوری عمر بتانے کو

یا جیتے جی مر جانے کو _



Dard
Posted by Well Reads at 13:24 0 comments

Urdu poetry


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20140208-100057.jpg



Urdu poetry
Posted by Well Reads at 02:01 0 comments

Nakhre


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20140208-095907.jpg



Nakhre
Posted by Well Reads at 02:00 0 comments

Jism

Wednesday, 5 February 2014


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20140205-133255.jpg



Jism
Posted by Well Reads at 05:33 0 comments

Pathan: Ajj Main

Saturday, 1 February 2014

Pathan: Aaj mai bus ke peche bhagty howe ghar tak aya hon, owr karaye ke 20 rupey bhi bacha leye.
.
2nd Pathan: Tum boht bewakof ho, Rekshe ke peche bhagty tu 80 rupey bach jaty



Pathan: Ajj Main
Posted by Well Reads at 15:58 0 comments

Pathan Cinema Main

1 Pathan Cinema mai Film dekh raha tha.
.
Film mai 1 Shair dowarty howe araha tha.
.
Pathan ne dekha tu dar gia, owr apni chadir kandhy pa dal kar bhaagny laga
Logo ne kaha: Khan Sahib mat daro, yai tu film hai
.
Pathan: Wo tu mujh ko bhi pata hai ke yai film hai, lekin wo tu janwar hai, usko kia pata



Pathan Cinema Main
Posted by Well Reads at 15:55 0 comments

Sardar Ji in Practical Exam

In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don’t know.
Examiner: You r failed, what’s your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name



Sardar Ji in Practical Exam
Posted by Well Reads at 15:51 0 comments

Pathan 2 Shopkeeper

Pathan 2 shopkeeper: Bhai sahb 1 rupia ka Easy Load kardo
.
Shopkeeper: 1 rupey ke load se kesi ko call karni hai ya msg?
.
Pathan: Karna tu kuch bhi nahi,
Bus aisy hi paisy urany ki adat hai



Pathan 2 Shopkeeper
Posted by Well Reads at 15:42 0 comments

Sardar Climbed a Tree

Sardar climbed a tree. Monkey asked: “Too uper kyon aaya?”


Sardar: “Apple Khane”


Monkey: “Yeh to mango tree”


Sardar: “Idiot, apple saath laaya hoon”



Sardar Climbed a Tree
Posted by Well Reads at 15:38 0 comments

Sardar on Train Tack

1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya .
1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!


Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?



Sardar on Train Tack
Posted by Well Reads at 15:35 0 comments

Sardar and Police man

Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.



Sardar and Police man
Posted by Well Reads at 15:20 0 comments

1 Pathan

1 Pathan Namaz parh raha tha
.
To dosra usky bare mai kesi ko bata raha tha ke yai boht Namazi owr naik banda hai.
.
Pathan Namaz thor kar bola:
Es ko bolo ke “hum ne Haj bhi kia hai”



1 Pathan
Posted by Well Reads at 15:19 0 comments

Teacher To Pathan

Teacher to Pathan: Tum ne home-work kion nahi kia?
.
.
Pathan: Sir hum hostel mai rehta hai



Teacher To Pathan
Posted by Well Reads at 15:14 0 comments

Two Sardars

1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?


2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye



Two Sardars
Posted by Well Reads at 15:11 0 comments
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