True saying….
Women never dress up to impress man,
She dress up to irritate other women.
via Latest husband & wife sms jokes collection (urdu & english).
Wife Jokes
Teacher Jokes
Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor..
Teacher Jokes
New Years Jokes
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request.
“Why do you want two tattoos there?”
So she says “Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years.”
via New Years Jokes – New Years Eve Jokes.
New Years Jokes
Amir Khusro
Khabaram raseed imshab ki nigaar khuahi aamad;
Sar-e man fidaa-e raah-e ki sawaar khuahi aamad.
Ham-e aahwan-e sehra sar-e khud nihada bar kaf;
Ba-umeed aanki rozi bashikaar khuahi aamad.
Kashishi ki ishq daarad naguzaradat badinsaa;
Ba-janazah gar nayai ba-mazaar khuahi aamad.
Balabam raseed jaanam fabiya ki zindah maanam;
Pas azan ki man na-maanam bacha kar khuahi aaamad.
Amir Khusro
Idiot jokes
Never argue with an idiot. They pull you down to their level, then beat you with experience
via Idiot jokes.
Idiot jokes
Amir Khusro
Nami danam chi manzil bood shab jaay ki man boodam;
Baharsu raqs-e bismil bood shab jaay ki man boodam.
Pari paikar nigaar-e sarw qadde laala rukhsare;
Sarapa aafat-e dil bood shab jaay ki man boodam.
Khuda khud meer-e majlis bood andar laamakan Khusrau;
Muhammad shamm-e mehfil bood shab jaay ki man boodam.
By : Amir Khusro
Amir Khusro
Wife Jokes
Police Officer: I arrest people, But, when I go home, I’m under house arrest, by Wife
Professor: I give lectures to students, But, when I go home, I get Lectured hourly, by wife
CEO: I’m the Boss, But, when I go home, I always feel like an employee, by wife
Judge: I give Justice, but when I go home, I Beg for Justice, by wife
via Latest husband & wife sms jokes collection (urdu & english).
Wife Jokes
Idiot jokes
A young lawyer who had taken over his father’s practice rushed home totally elated.
“Dad, listen, you aren’t going to believe this,” he said to his father. “I’ve finally settled that old Whitmore suit.”
“Settled it!” bellowed his father. “You bumbling idiot! We’ve been living off of that money for over five years now!”
via Idiot jokes.
Idiot jokes
Wife Jokes
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple…
A woman does not have a wife..!!
via Latest husband & wife sms jokes collection (urdu & english) – Page 2 of 12.
Wife Jokes
News and Politics Jokes
Singing hymns and praying for peace and luck, thousands of Buddhists greeted a holy tooth believed to have belonged to Buddha when it arrived in Taiwan.
Monks in saffron robes escorted the tooth, encased in a miniature golden pagoda, off a flight from India. Dozens of women prostated themselves and spread their long hair over a red carpet. Others knelt in rows, clasping their hands in front to express their reverence. Buddhists say the tooth brings blessings for those who live where it is housed and keeps them from disaster.
via News and Politics Jokes Page 5.
News and Politics Jokes
News and Politics Jokes
Virtually every professional discipline within the American Medical Association’s membership has decided to weigh in on the new health care plan being developed by President Obama’s team, with varying thoughts and recommendations.
The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to totally wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, but the Plastic Surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter.”
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
The Anesthesiologists thought the idea was a gas, while the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say “No!”
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the a$$holes in Washington!
News and Politics Jokes
Amir Khusro
Kafir-e-ishqam musalmani mara darkaar neest
Har rag-e mun taar gashta hajat-e zunnaar neest;
Az sar-e baaleen-e mun bar khez ay naadaan tabeeb
Dard mand-e ishq ra daroo bajuz deedaar neest;
Nakhuda dar kashti-e maagar nabashad go mubaash
Makhuda daareem mara nakhuda darkaar neest;
Khalq mi goyad ki Khusrau but parasti mi kunad
Aarey aarey mi kunam ba khalq mara kaar neest.
Amir Khusro
Amir Khusro
Khabaram raseed imshab ki nigaar khuahi aamad;
Sar-e man fidaa-e raah-e ki sawaar khuahi aamad.
Ham-e aahwan-e sehra sar-e khud nihada bar kaf;
Ba-umeed aanki rozi bashikaar khuahi aamad.
Kashishi ki ishq daarad naguzaradat badinsaa;
Ba-janazah gar nayai ba-mazaar khuahi aamad.
Balabam raseed jaanam fabiya ki zindah maanam;
Pas azan ki man na-maanam bacha kar khuahi aaamad.
Amir Khusro
Idiot Jokes
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?” Holmes asked.
Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
“Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!”
via Idiots Jokes – AJokeADay.com – Jokes… Jokes… Jokes… Jokes… Jokes….
Idiot Jokes
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