Widow

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A. A widow

Submitted by Calamjo
Editede by Curtis

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Widow

Still Celebrating!

The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar.

“Elliot,” she said, pointing “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?”

The husband looked over and nodded.

“Well,” the woman continued, “he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!”

The husband returned to his meal. “Nonsense,” he said, “even that’s not worth so much celebrating!”

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Still Celebrating!

Why did santa claus...

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Why did santa claus go to jail?
he got caught laying barbie under the
christmas tree!

Why did santa claus...

Dolly Parton's Marriages

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If Dolly Parton married
Jerry Smothers, and divorced him for
Mr. Lucky, and divorced him for
Martin Short, and divorced him for
former NFL kicker Ray Guy, she would be
Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy.

Dolly Parton's Marriages

Roseanne the drug dealer

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Did ya hear Roseanne was arrested for dealing drugs???

They lifted her dress and found 50 pounds of crack.

Roseanne the drug dealer

Mark McGwire on Simpsons

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What character would Mark McGwire play on the Simpsons?

Homer!

Mark McGwire on Simpsons

Obi's Son

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If Obi Wan Had a Son, of what name would he bear it?

Obi Tu

Obi's Son

Toto

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Dear Dorathy,

Hate OZ, took the shoes, find your own way home.

-TOTO

Toto

Helen Keller

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How did eln keller burn her face?

she was bobbing for French fries

Helen Keller

Mike 'n' a hot dog

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Q: What do Michael Jackson and a hotdog have in common?

A: White buns and a weiner!!!

Mike 'n' a hot dog

Light bulbs

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How many Taoists does it take to change a light bulb?

You cannot change a light bulb. By its nature it will go out again

Light bulbs

Who's saved?

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Michael Jackson and Dennis Rodman where on sinking ship. Who was saved.

The music world and the NBA.

Who's saved?

Bush

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Why does Sadamm Husseins wife have no pubic hair?

Because when he is in bed he doesnt want to see Bush.

Bush

Vending machine

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Q:What do monica lewinsky and a vending machine
have in common

A:they both say insert bill here

Vending machine

Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart

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Q. What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?

A. They both have boys pants half off.

Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart